Coked out 90s action movies are back in 2024, baby. Let's go. I was talking about Coca Cola. What do you think I was talking about? So beekeeper stars Jason Statham, which means you know exactly what this movie's gonna be. He's pretty reliable in that sense. It's like when you see Liam Neeson in a movie trailer and he's like, honey, how's it going?
Happy Thanksgiving. You're like, okay, so that's the family that's gonna die, so we can go on his rampage. Same thing when you see Jason Statham in here and he's like, yeah, I'm a beekeeper. I'll keep bees. You know, that's just a strange way for him to say military special ops professional killer type is gonna lay down some bodies, and after his nice old landlord is robbed and then dead, that's exactly what he does.
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| The Beekeeper Movie Comprehensive Review |
Happy Thanksgiving. You're like, okay, so that's the family that's gonna die, so we can go on his rampage. Same thing when you see Jason Statham in here and he's like, yeah, I'm a beekeeper. I'll keep bees. You know, that's just a strange way for him to say military special ops professional killer type is gonna lay down some bodies, and after his nice old landlord is robbed and then dead, that's exactly what he does.
Your enjoyment, or lack of enjoyment in this movie is going to depend on what you want and what you accept the movie as being. The movie is directed by David Ayer, who also directed Suicide Squad and Fury. Not that the Suicide Squad remake will. Nonsense. No, we're talking the real deal.
I will say this. The first 30 minutes or so of this movie was awesome. We're not talking cheesy 90s action movie fun awesome. I'm talking. It was actually pretty sweet.
When it's all said and done, the miscreants, the slime buckets, the baddies, they appeared to be a little cartoony. But for the most part, it's this sweet, nice old lady who gets scammed with one of those online pop ups, and she calls, she's like, oh, it looks like I have a virus. Can you help me? Here's my IP address. That's real shit that's out there.
My mom almost got hit with one of those things. It's no joke. Don't fuck with the elderly. That's the lesson here. That first building he takes out, I'm just saying it was satisfying.
When it's all said and done, in the event that you're not the slightest bit a 90s activity film fan, we'll cruise this one by. There's going to be nothing here for you. No judgment. I'm just saying it as a fact. It resembles assuming I'm discussing an ocean side, discussing how, gracious, that ocean side was loads of tomfoolery.
Anakin Skywalker's watching the video, I should say. If you don't like sand, you probably won't like it, though. Not everything's for everyone. But when it had focus, when it was clear, it was trying to be the celebration of 90s action movies. That is the point at which the film was in its zone.
The action sequences were enjoyable. There were some really bloody and satisfying kills and hits. All things considered, in the final part of the film, we'll say the final venture of the film or something like that, it begins to act over the top with itself direct where the cheese doesn't feel like a celebration anymore. The cheese starts to feel bad. Maybe it's the shtick that was wearing off.
Maybe it's the fact that the movie was taking itself too seriously by the end. Point is, it didn't mesh as well as it did in the first half. Well, the beekeeper thing is ludicrous, however it was fun crazy from the outset. And the bee puns. There are so many bee puns in this movie.
The b puns in Beekeeper are comparable to the ice cold and freezing puns in Batman and Robin. It's funny at first, then it just gets out of control. However, that is the ten years they're pulling from, I think. Be that as it may, it's when individuals begin discussing him and they're like, look, we need to manage the beekeeper. You don't understand.
He's a beekeeper. I just couldn't take it as seriously as I felt like the movie wanted me to take it. It's like when people argue about friends giving, it's like, I want to take it as seriously as you want me to take it, but I just can't because you're saying it that way. Low key. It has a really solid cast.
Jeremy Irons is in the movie. Josh Hutchison I thought was great as. What was his name? Hunter. This movie is so dollar store.
It's just, you can see the makeup in here. You can see the dna of it. The quiet, retired professional killer type. Some rich shithead causes death in his life that brings him out of retirement. Now he's going after that young, rich shithead, the young, rich punk's father figure who's in the know, who knows the kind of damage this assassin coming out of retirement is going to bring down on them.
There's even the super secret underground call center. You can tell someone's like, okay, john Wick. But hear me out on this. A beekeeper. But unlike John Wick, we'll have these stretches, particularly in the second half where the action slows down.
Concentrate on these two FBI people that I personally didn't give a shit about. I should have because one of them is the daughter of the old lady who died. I feel like there should be more care there, but I just didn't care. Also, their dynamic was weird. He was like, oh, hey, you, like, fires your mom's old house?
Yeah. In the end, it's a Jason Statham action movie that totally throws back to cheesy 90s action movies. Cheesy 90s action movies. It's not a smooth ride. Some of the dialog is just laughable, like laughing at the movie, not with the movie.
But there are more than a few scenes in which you're laughing with the movie because the movie knows what it is and it leans into it. Sometimes it leans a little too far. Sometimes it pulls back on the lean takes itself a little too seriously. It's a little inconsistent in that sense. It doesn't keep in what we call the Goldilock zone the entire time.
If you and your friends love those cheesy 90s action movies, this could be a fun movie to add to that collection. Add to that binge night. Bring the friends, bring the alcohol. Fun time if you're drunk. Yeah.
Now it's a party. All right, so the beekeeper, have you seen it? What did you think about it? Or what's your favorite 90s throwback action movie? Not from the 90s?
Feel like I asked you that recently. Well, I haven't asked you that in 2024. Let this be the first time. Whatever it is, whatever you think, comment below. Let me know.
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