Argylle Movie Comprehensive Review - Movie Pedialogy

This is a real mystery right here. Show someone the poster of this movie who hasn't seen the trailer and be like, Who do you think the star of this movie is? I'll give you a second. 

Argylle Movie Comprehensive Review

Argyll's the new Matthew Vaugh film stars Bryce Dallas Howard and Sam Rockwell. That's right, kids, in case you didn't get it, those two are the stars. Anyhow, Bryce Dallas Howard plays an author. She writes spy novels. Turns out her novels are very close to reality. She gets wrapped into this spy world. Spies organizations are trying to kill her. Sam Rockwell plays a spy who's helping her out, so it's the two of them navigating that situation. Yeah, Henry Cavill's in it, as a character in her fictional novel. Who is not the star of this movie, regardless of what the poster looks like? Henry Cavill is in this movie for about five minutes max. Don't go into this all like, Hey, loved man from uncle, let's do it. It's just going to piss you off. There are other things in this movie to be pissed about. As I've said, Matthew Vaughn is hit or miss with me. Funny enough, Argyll is hit and miss with me.

Can't say it's the best and worst of Matthew Vawn as there's nothing in here that really does compare to Matthew Vawn's best. But it's undeniably some Matthew Vawn fun and lows wrapped into one overpatterned, over stuffed 2 hour, 20 minute package. Sam Rockwell and Bryce Dallas Howard. I thought they were good in the movie. Sam Rockwell, in particular, is a standout who once again showcases his great comedic timing. Important for this movie because I feel like when the humor landed, it was usually because of him. 

This movie plays up the camp in that Matthew Vawn way. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes you're like, and that's the movie having its head up its own ass. Like that hallway action sequence with all the smoke. I know it's trying to be this cool stylistic moment. Problem is I couldn't see anything because everything was in smoke, so it felt like a waste of time. The very next action sequence is far more ridiculous, but I could actually see what was happening, so I actually had fun with it. It is no doubt the most ridiculous action sequence in the entire thing. If you want reality, this ain't it.

What can I say? It was ridiculous. It was also fun, so it worked for me. I usually like to have the positives in one group and the negatives in another group, and that's how the structure of the video goes. Not this one. It's all intermittently woven into itself, which is how the movie feels, so it's on brand. Speaking of which, this movie doesn't really has structure. This movie is about three movies I can think about the top of my head, two of which I can actually tell you because the third one, assuming that I tell you, Goodness, it helps me to remember this film, you will know Uncover. It's a spoiler to even compare it. But they feel like isolated incidents. Like the movie is like, All right, we're going with this vibe. All right, now we're on to another vibe. It's a totally different movie. All right, now we're on to another vibe. At first, she's an author who's working with a spy. They're trying to figure out what's going on with the big bads. She thinks like a spy, so she's like, All right, how would I write this? Oh, hey, this is what I would do.

This is a real mystery right here. Show someone the poster of this movie who hasn't seen the trailer and be like, Who do you think the star of this movie is? I'll give you a second. Argyll's the new Matthew Vaugh film stars Bryce Dallas Howard and Sam Rockwell. That's right, kids, in case you didn't get it, those two are the stars. Anyhow, Bryce Dallas Howard plays an author. She writes spy novels. Turns out her novels are very close to reality. She gets wrapped into this spy world. Spies organizations are trying to kill her. Sam Rockwell plays a spy who's helping her out, so it's the two of them navigating that situation. Yeah, Henry Cavill's in it, as a character in her fictional novel. Who is not the star of this movie, regardless of what the poster looks like? Henry Cavill is in this movie for about five minutes max. Don't go into this all like, Hey, loved man from uncle, let's do it. It's just going to piss you off. There are other things in this movie to be pissed about. As I've said, Matthew Vaughn is hit or miss with me. Funny enough, Argyll is hit and miss with me.

Can't say it's the best and worst of Matthew Vawn as there's nothing in here that really does compare to Matthew Vawn's best. But it's undeniably some Matthew Vawn fun and lows wrapped into one overpatterned, over stuffed 2 hour, 20 minute package. Sam Rockwell and Bryce Dallas Howard. I thought they were good in the movie. Sam Rockwell, in particular, is a standout who once again showcases his great comedic timing. Important for this movie because I feel like when the humor landed, it was usually because of him. This movie plays up the camp in that Matthew Vawn way.

Sometimes it's fun, sometimes you're like, and that's the movie having its head up its own ass. Like that hallway action sequence with all the smoke. I know it's trying to be this cool stylistic moment. Problem is I couldn't see anything because everything was in smoke, so it felt like a waste of time.

The very next action sequence is far more ridiculous, but I could actually see what was happening, so I actually had fun with it. It is no doubt the most ridiculous action sequence in the entire thing. If you want reality, this ain't it.

What can I say? It was ridiculous. It was also fun, so it worked for me. I usually like to have the positives in one group and the negatives in another group, and that's how the structure of the video goes. Not this one. It's all intermittently woven into itself, which is how the movie feels, so it's on brand. Speaking of which, this movie doesn't really has structure. This movie is about three movies I can think about the top of my head, two of which I can actually tell you because the third one, assuming that I tell you, Goodness, it helps me to remember this film, you will know Uncover. It's a spoiler to even compare it. But they feel like isolated incidents. Like the movie is like, All right, we're going with this vibe. All right, now we're on to another vibe. It's a totally different movie. All right, now we're on to another vibe. At first, she's an author who's working with a spy. They're trying to figure out what's going on with the big bads. She thinks like a spy, so she's like, All right, how would I write this? Oh, hey, this is what I would do.

Kind of like Will Graham and Hannibal, only without the serial killings. Then it's like, All right, no more of that. We're not doing that anymore in this movie. Now we're enemy of the state. Then from there, it's all right, no more of that. We're doing something else. I feel like you need to emphasize with those particular comparisons, it's always the comedic versions of those. It is always and remains it's comedic, campy, fun, buddy spy thriller. This movie actually had some fun twist, turns, and reveals. I got to give it that. I was having fun with those. By about the finish of this thing, you're like, OK, you're erring on the side of crazy big time here. That didn't should be a thing. Why is that a thing now? So preoccupied with whether or not they could.They didn't stop to suppose assuming they ought to.

Even when it would cut to Henry Cavill imagery, it started to annoy me. At first, you notice this whole spy sequence as shown in the trailer, and then you find out, Oh, hey, that's just a story, and she's reading it. That's who Argyll is. He's this fictional character in these books that she's written.

But an action sequence will be going down, and it will oddly and awkwardly cut to instead of Sam Rockwell, Sam Rockwell will turn into Argyll, and then back to Sam Rockwell while he's fighting. Could have gone for one scene, the first action sequence in the train being that. But the movie kept doing it. I was like, Okay, I think we're done with that now. Oh, there it is again. Okay, you're still going to do it. I'm just saying, there it is again. All right. All things in Let's leave the audience wanting more, but therein lies the problem. The big wigs don't want to leave the audience wanting more when they're paying for that Henry Cavill mug. Why pay for Henry Cavill to be a character in a book that's read once in the movie when you could shoehorn him into the movie and put him front and center in the poster? Worst of all, that's just how it came across. It came across like they had to keep putting Henry Cavill into the movie because they paid for him. Waste not. Yeah, movie's too long. Dude, 2 hours, 20 minutes? No. No more than two for this.

This would have been a fine two-hour package. The cat was cute. Just funny. I'm like, This is lazy key jangling for cat ladies. What Henry Cavill wasn't enough to get the ladies in the theater, you had to put the CGI cat in there? Hollywood pulling out all the stops to reel in that female demographic using everything except good writing. Last but not least, as it feels like I've been bitching about this movie far more than I intended to, the CGI. Yes, the CGI, the green screen goes from noticeable to downright bad. It's an epidemic in movies. I see it more and more. It's like that phrase, the new normal. Well, this is the new normal. I feel like everyone just accepts it. Like, gracious, better believe it, Hollywood film with awful CGI. I know. It's how they do it now. It's a bummer. It's sad. Once again, I'm going to advocate for the CGI artist. It's not their fault. We've heard the horror stories of the working conditions. It's like, all right, 100 meter dash with that boulder tied around your waist. Ready, set, go. Oh, you didn't make it. In a second, guess you suck at your job.

Overworked, underpaid, ridiculous deadlines. Whose art is going to thrive in those conditions? To be I don't know how it went down with this movie. That's just what I've seen in Hollywood, generally speaking. One more movie with bad CGI makes me think, Oh, what? Yep, still happening. In the end, Argyll, it had its moments. Also had some really ridiculous shit, some of which I had fun with, some of which I thought was just sloppy and lazy. Whereas, say, the first Kingsman movie felt like it was this revitalized, re-energized take on a spy thriller. Argyll, on the other hand, feels like style over substance. It's not a total watch, but you might need the aid of your own poison. He Yeah, now it's a party. Funny enough, pretty sure at the end, they caused another Exon Valdes type crisis, but no one ever mentions it. It's like, Wait, did they just... Oh, I guess not. All right, so Argyll, have you seen it? What did you think about it? Or what's your favorite spy movie? That's a pretty big one. Why not? Pick your spy movie, whatever it is, whatever you think. Comment below, let me know.