All right, I'm going to go old school on this one, trying to make this article as short as humanly possible. I'm going to do for you what this movie did not do for me, a short, concise package in which you have all the information in and out, send you on your way. All right, here we go. So Imaginary is a new horror movie that fits right into 2024 horror movies. This movie revolves around a family who moves into a new house. This new house happens to be the childhood house of the stepmom. And in In this new house, the youngest girl in the family gets, that's right, an imaginary friend. That imaginary friend is, that's right, an evil entity. Dollar Store, any movie you've ever... I'm going to use Dollar Store a lot in here because this movie is Dollar Store everything you've ever seen in the history of horror movies ever. Dollar Store, Tim Burton is definitely in the last act. That probably came out of nowhere. Quite a curveball for my review. I'll get there. To the point, why did I watch this movie? Because cheesy, bad, yet really enjoyable in that guilty pleasure way horror movie is its own reward.
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| Imaginary Movie Review |
Every time I go into one of these, I'm hoping for that. What I found was in my kung fu panda four review, I said, I don't always get a good night's sleep too often these days. I think I found the cure. It's imaginary. This movie is a slog. It's just boring. It's boring, and it feels more boring than it should because the characters don't even talk like human beings. They don't talk like characters. I get you want to have this weird old lady for the sake of really convenient and lazy writing exposition dump. But some of the dialogs, some with her, some just sprinkled throughout the film. It almost comes across as a comedy. It's like, Are you guys trying to be funny? Oh, no, you're not. This movie is broadly inconsistent in terms of characters saying what they have heard, what they have seen, and then what the movie shows you that they have seen or not seen. It's trying to keep it vague. No spoilers here, even on trash. But I'm a sucker for that thing called continuity. These three streams of information feel like they're coming from three very separate films because they just contradict each other.
No one in the film asks questions like, Whoa, you said this, but now you're saying this. Wait, you said you saw this, but you definitely didn't see that. No, everyone's just an idiot like, Yeah, sounds good. I'm just going to forget what you said earlier. Hey, someone from my cable company just texted me asking for my social security number to fix an outage that isn't in my area. I'm going to give it to him because I don't ask questions. The older daughter is a complete asshole. I get it. Teen angst is a thing. But the way she belittles and berates her stepmom, I get it. There's supposed to be room for growth with a character character. The whole time I was like, If she talks to her stepmom like this, how does she talk to her peers in school? It just felt like she's a bully, and I don't care. Because any growth is going to feel temporary. It just feels like she's an asshole to her core. God, there were a couple of moments in here when I was watching the movie, I was like, Oh, hold on to that one. Hold on to that one for the review.
That is gold. It's bad gold. My brain was like, I get why you want it, but no, we're not going to hold on to that one. Obliviate. I'm just left with that feeling of who the fuck talks like this? The characters don't interact how people interact. It's like the script had no pushback. No one in the room to be like, Maybe we shouldn't have them talk like that. Do you talk like that? The older teenage daughter has the neighbor boy over. They're hanging out, and at a point, he drops the bombshell that he has a bag of drugs, and he's like, Let's get this party started. He has a pill on his tongue. I was like, Do you have a thing on your tongue the entire time you've been here? Folks, just doing that for this article that was excedrin migraine, by the way. I could already feel it starting to be bitter. That's What's the point? It's like, dude, anytime we put a pill in our mouth and we're getting water, that's the Timer. There's a Timer in which this thing is going to start dissolving in your mouth. It's going to be the second most bitter taste in your mouth possible, second only to the bad horror movie.
Anyhow, I was just like, What? I can still taste it, though. Oh, I remembered one. Now, disclaimer, and to be fair, I might be missing something here since this movie lacks most any form of narrative structure that makes it conducive for the human brain to retain it whatsoever. But there's this scene where the stepmom is talking to the little girl who has the imaginary friend. Chaun sees his name, and she's like, Look, it's been a very difficult time for you, and I know that we're going to get through this, and I want you to know I'm here, or something to that effect. When I was watching it, I was like, No, it hasn't been hard on the little kid so far as you know, she's just been hanging out with her imaginary friend, having a pretty good time. Stepmom's been dealing with some shit. At that point, it just came across this lady's projecting her bullshit onto this poor kid. Granted, half of being a parent is causing new damage, but come on. The movie's about an hour and a 45. That is to say the first hour and a half is truly boring. That's not 90 minutes that feels like 90 minutes.
It's one of those cases, 90 minutes feels like 2 hours. There were a couple of moments, minus the jump scares that are in here, too. But there were a couple of moments that did lend themselves to being interesting visuals in a horror film. They were subtle enough to actually possibly be effective if they weren't sprinkled into this absolute bore fest, if I wasn't half asleep because of the movie. Then the last act happens, by far the best part. I mean, it's Dollar Store Tim Burton, like I said, and Dollar Store Poltergeist went splat. But it's by far the best part of the movie when it popped up, I was like, Oh, here we go. This is the movie. Maybe it's because it has that rule of contrast working for it, where the first hour and a half of this movie was so god awful boring. The last part of the movie felt so much better because of it. That's the real silver lining where I have this odd optimism for a sequel for this movie, possibly. Like Annabelle and Ouija before, the first movies were shit, but the sequels learned. They maybe even, God forbid, listened to feedback, and they proceeded accordingly because the first movie did have something there that they could build off of, something there to play with.
That's the first movie just didn't know how to do. I see that in the last act in this movie when the point rears its ugly head. I actually had fun with that. It's just not worth the slog dredging through this bore fest to get to that point. In the last act, in the end, while we're there, the movie could have ended about three times. I was like, All right, the movies, I actually got up, started walking towards the door and I was like, Movies not done, is it? Oh, there's more. Then the movie is like, All right, we're done now. Unless we're not. I was just sitting there like, Just end the fucking movie. I legit feel like this movie could be broken up to two ratings. First three-fourths of this movie, absolute dog shit. The last part of the movie I can have some fun with, the right amount of scotch, but I I just can't do it. I can't average it out to be something in between. The movie leading up to the last part of the film showing anything resembling imagination is just so bad. It makes the overall experience nothing short of dog shit.
All right, it's like this. Here it is. It comes out on streaming. Just fast forward to the last part. Fast forward to anything past that. If you hate what you see at that point, just know that everything before it was so much worse. Well, this article is about twice as long as I intended it to be. I apologize for that. I'll fire you. I'll fire you. It's so imaginary. Have you seen it? What did you think about it? Or what's your favorite horror movie in which there is an imaginary friend that is an evil entity? Take your pick. I know that doesn't narrow it down. Whatever it is, whatever you think, comment below.
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